it seems that life has no color...

It was 11th March 2009, one more day of my life in Satyam which is not so easy to be forgotten. Journey begins here. As usual at 6.30 am, my alarm helped me to wake up. At 8.20 am, I boarded the bus and at 9.20, I was in office. I had my lunch at 2pm. At 6.30, I left the office and boarded the bus and at 8.30 pm, I was at my room as usual. Everything was looking as usual but I was feeling something missing that day. I was working in office but my soul was roaming somewhere else. I was having the lunch but there was no hunger that day. I was having lots of officemates working around me and talking to me but I was feeling alone that day.
Only one unusual thing, which made the entire usual things unusual, was…it was ‘HOLI’ (the festival of colors)….no no... I should say it was the first Holi of my life without colors, lack of sweets and lack of MASTI (joy).
We could not celebrate Holi this year due to the great decision of satyam officers of not giving leave that day. We could not enjoy special food. We could not tear the cloths of each other. We could not play with mud and water. The only thing, we could do, was to recall the sweet memories of our previous celebrations….

Comparison is the thing which makes us unsatisfied and unhappy…

Some days back, I got a mail in which there was a way to be satisfied by comparing our life with the worse one….and then I tried to collect my life first….

I am from Gangapur City, a town; I don’t know why it has city in its name. I did my schooling from three schools. 1to 5 from Adarsh Vidhya Mandir, famous for its discipline..... 6 to 8 from Kapoor School, good for nothing, guys study here because they have fewer options……….and 9 to 12 from Govt. Sr. Sec School, the biggest school in the whole town and nearby area. Up to 5th, schooling was ok. But after that I didn’t find anything good in life. In Kapoor School, there was no play ground to play, we were having some streets where limited no. of games can be played, we were not taught any thing extra than our course….no quiz….no game.. kinda thing…and the result…I have no column of extra curriculum activities in my resume….even i appreciate the contribution of my next school in this blank space of extra curriculum activity column. In Govt. Sr. Sec. School….3 playgrounds with 6-7 or even more teams wishing to use them….. We were not having desks to sit in class room….we had to sit on floor…on carpet of cloths….sometimes that was also missing….worse thing, fans were not available for us in the classes. We were not having any knowledge of what to do in future. I did choose maths in 11th not because I wanted to become an engineer, but the reason was…I got 100% marks in math. I did not know any thing about pre engineering exams before going to Kota. I went there for preparation of RPET then I came to know there is something AIEEE. After 1 year preparation, I got 7321 all India rank. I was really very disappointed but only one who was responsible for that bad result was me and only me. Whatever, I got NIT Jamshedpur, civil. I heard a lot about college life from relatives and television… I was having lots of expectation from colg…I thought I will enjoy the things in college which I missed in school… but then the worst happened… We were having fans in classroom but electricity was missing. You will not find drinking water in the whole college campus. I did not get those basic stuffs how could I expect something special from the college. This college shattered my expectation and the four most important and fervent years of my life. And now, I am in Satyam and again expecting something good in life.

I found only bad things in my life. Some people say that I don’t want to see good things in my life by asking me to compare my self with a guy who is from a village and who don’t have any school in his near by area or who don’t have money to join any school…then my question to those guys is….why I should not compare my self with a city guy or a rich guy.

I really don’t understand one thing….why these people ask us to compare with ourselves with someone who is in worse condition….if they want to tell us the way to be satisfied then why they forget that one question can arise in our mind that why we r not comparing ourselves with someone who is in better condition…and that will make us more unsatisfied and unhappy.

I found only bad things of my schools and college because I compared them with some other institutes. I think this comparison thing can give us only dissatisfaction as a common man’s comportment is to compare himself with the better one not with the worse. He may feel some pity for them while comparing his life with worse ones but that is not satisfaction.