DreaM

We use to see dreams with both close eyes and open eyes... And forget them or don’t put our best to fulfill them… by saying:
For closed eyes dream... It was just a dream yaar and
For opened eyes dream… I tried/trying my best but unable to do…or apni bas ki baat nahi hai yaar….
In general cases we don’t do our best and sometimes we even don’t try.
I am not exception at all. Here I will talk about khuli aankho ke sapne (day-dreaming)

During the schooling, I used to see the dreams of topping class or school. During every annual exam, I used to promise myself that “In next class/year, I will study hard from the very first day so that in exams days, there will not be so much burden. This time somehow I should pass but next time I will try my best for being topper…bla bla bla...”
I know, I never tried for that, never put my entire effort on study. Sometimes, I tried to keep that promise for first 4-5 days but never more than that.

Same thing happened in college also. I used to dream of best placement but never worked on my English even I knew that English has pretty good importance in placement as well as my future life/career. Also I never put my exertion in course subjects. It was my gigantic luck that I got two offers even being good for nothing.

And now I am professional, working in Mahindra Satyam and still situation is same. I am seeing some dreams but doing nothing to fulfill them. My mind is blocked these days; I am not able to think/decide what to do except Orkutting. Honestly, the day, when I will start hating orkut, will be my best day. KAAS JALDI SE YE DIN AAYE ND M KUCHH OR KAR SAKUAPNE FUTURE KE LIYE.


By the way my dream is:
I want to work in Google once (time period doesn’t matter)

Mera to chhota sa dream hai :P :P :P .. aapka kya dream hai..
WOULD YOU LIKE TO SHARE YOUR DREAM HERE…..

Luck is ruling

August 2, 2009...Friendship Day:
I got lots of messages with Happy Friendship Day wish, even before I woke up. But perhaps all those wishes are very few to make my day good.
I woke up at around 10 in morning and the first thing I noticed was some kinda smell. And very soon I came to know its LPG gas, our cylinder was leaking, so my day started with repairing that bloody hell……. soon one more blow was given by shopkeeper when he took Rs.50 for just 10 rupees thing.
When I returned with repaired one, I came to know that home owner will be visiting me after some time. My room was too much chaotic. So I tried to make it clean as much as I could and waited for owner without having any food as I was told that soon he will be at flat.
The ‘SOON’ ended at around 1.30 pm and the very first sentence I heard from that side was “You should hire someone for cleaning. We put a lot of money in this house”. It was shocking. My all hard work was in a big pit with a lot of mud on it. I am thinking about the situation if he saw the original one. :P
They told some other shits also and I heard them impassively as I didn’t want to argue with them. They guzzled my head for almost 1.5 hours. Afterwards I was not having any food option except Meggi.
Perhaps those two great blows of the day were not enough. God had prepared one more for me. So when I went to recharge-shop after having my dinner, one more punched me which was I think more powerful than previous two. He wrote my correct phone no. as I told him, but when he was going to recharge, I don’t know what happened to me, I changed one digit in that no. And recharge was successful. I was stunned at that time as I couldn’t understand whether I should laugh on my foolishness or I should feel sad for what happened to my mind.
And then I made one more recharge (this time on correct number) :P
I know you all will laugh and make fun of it (specially the third blow) but I wanted to share it so I did.
I think, they were not my mistakes especially first two, for 3rd one also…it was jus luck.
So luck is ruling …but ya bad luck…. :(
And I think it is becoming more and more powerful now as today (3rd Aug), I got released from the project :( :( :(
Moral of the story:
1. Confirm your phone no. while doing recharge.
2. Be prepare for the next blow after getting one, as it may be harder than the previous one.

I miss college life

Hi guys, I am back again. I don't know, why I cannot write delightful things here. I think there is no amusement in my life or maybe I am not able to find it. You decide after reading this.

Some light on colg life…
1. Scarcity of electricity
2. Scarcity of water as it was dependent of light
3. Poor administration (not poor, I should use harami word here, sab ke sab 1 no. ke harami….paise khane ke alaba un logo ko kuch nahi aata)
4. Poor infrastructure in colg
5. Poor food
6. No place for entertainment (like Movie Theater etc.)
7. But lots of friends with lots of entertainment, without them colg was more than hell and of course no tension, no tension of exams, no tension of future, just gachch raho (don’t take tension, enjoy whatever u have).

Lets move to my present life in Hyderabad….
1. Scarcity of electricity (no fix time of power cut)
2. Scarcity of water ( daily 1-2 hour water supply, early in the morning and late in night…we store some water in buckets so that we can do our routine work…if any of us do not rise early, then u can imagine, how will be the day without water.)
3. Poor food again ( in college I thought that I will be getting better food during job, but I was wrong, u can get good food only at home and if you are getting good food away from home then believe me, you r very lucky)
4. Very less places for entertainment ( 2-3 malls and 3 multiplex, only advance booking can help if you want to see any movie within 1-2 weeks of release)
5. Tension of job ( no one knows, after a month where I will be, in Job or on road roaming here and there in searching for a job…..Thanks to Raju and his gr8 company Satyam).

6. Lots of restrictions like we can not make noise, we can not play music in loud voice, even we can not laugh heartly as those things can disturb our sofisticated neighbours.

When I was in colg, I was fervently waiting for the date of our freedom from the worst college u can imagine where you can see protests for basic amenities like water, electricity etc….waiting for a new place where I will be getting a good food and incessant basic amenities…and also waiting for a new and better life where my pocket money will be increasing.
But now I think I was wrong. Present life is obviously new but not better at any content so far. Pocket money is increased but a lot of tension is also increased related to job and future life, sometimes I see my future in full dark. No good food, even sometimes ‘good’ word is also abandoned. Come to basic amenities then situation is even worse than college in case of water. Colg me jo man karta tha wo karte the, here we are living with lots of restriction, even we can not celebrate b'days here as subah office hota hai and sofisticated logo ko disturb bhi nahi kar sakte....And entertainment, life is dull now, no enthu like colg, hectic schedule of 8 to 8 in weekdays and nothing to do in weekends, kuchh karne ko dil nahi karta.....i remember, in 4th year we used to go out ( temple or market) daily ..ab to bahar ghumne jane ka bhi man nahi karta, no color in life now.
To all colg frnds: hey guys, I miss you a lot.
And now, I think, I miss the colg life which was anyhow better than this professional life.

it seems that life has no color...

It was 11th March 2009, one more day of my life in Satyam which is not so easy to be forgotten. Journey begins here. As usual at 6.30 am, my alarm helped me to wake up. At 8.20 am, I boarded the bus and at 9.20, I was in office. I had my lunch at 2pm. At 6.30, I left the office and boarded the bus and at 8.30 pm, I was at my room as usual. Everything was looking as usual but I was feeling something missing that day. I was working in office but my soul was roaming somewhere else. I was having the lunch but there was no hunger that day. I was having lots of officemates working around me and talking to me but I was feeling alone that day.
Only one unusual thing, which made the entire usual things unusual, was…it was ‘HOLI’ (the festival of colors)….no no... I should say it was the first Holi of my life without colors, lack of sweets and lack of MASTI (joy).
We could not celebrate Holi this year due to the great decision of satyam officers of not giving leave that day. We could not enjoy special food. We could not tear the cloths of each other. We could not play with mud and water. The only thing, we could do, was to recall the sweet memories of our previous celebrations….

Comparison is the thing which makes us unsatisfied and unhappy…

Some days back, I got a mail in which there was a way to be satisfied by comparing our life with the worse one….and then I tried to collect my life first….

I am from Gangapur City, a town; I don’t know why it has city in its name. I did my schooling from three schools. 1to 5 from Adarsh Vidhya Mandir, famous for its discipline..... 6 to 8 from Kapoor School, good for nothing, guys study here because they have fewer options……….and 9 to 12 from Govt. Sr. Sec School, the biggest school in the whole town and nearby area. Up to 5th, schooling was ok. But after that I didn’t find anything good in life. In Kapoor School, there was no play ground to play, we were having some streets where limited no. of games can be played, we were not taught any thing extra than our course….no quiz….no game.. kinda thing…and the result…I have no column of extra curriculum activities in my resume….even i appreciate the contribution of my next school in this blank space of extra curriculum activity column. In Govt. Sr. Sec. School….3 playgrounds with 6-7 or even more teams wishing to use them….. We were not having desks to sit in class room….we had to sit on floor…on carpet of cloths….sometimes that was also missing….worse thing, fans were not available for us in the classes. We were not having any knowledge of what to do in future. I did choose maths in 11th not because I wanted to become an engineer, but the reason was…I got 100% marks in math. I did not know any thing about pre engineering exams before going to Kota. I went there for preparation of RPET then I came to know there is something AIEEE. After 1 year preparation, I got 7321 all India rank. I was really very disappointed but only one who was responsible for that bad result was me and only me. Whatever, I got NIT Jamshedpur, civil. I heard a lot about college life from relatives and television… I was having lots of expectation from colg…I thought I will enjoy the things in college which I missed in school… but then the worst happened… We were having fans in classroom but electricity was missing. You will not find drinking water in the whole college campus. I did not get those basic stuffs how could I expect something special from the college. This college shattered my expectation and the four most important and fervent years of my life. And now, I am in Satyam and again expecting something good in life.

I found only bad things in my life. Some people say that I don’t want to see good things in my life by asking me to compare my self with a guy who is from a village and who don’t have any school in his near by area or who don’t have money to join any school…then my question to those guys is….why I should not compare my self with a city guy or a rich guy.

I really don’t understand one thing….why these people ask us to compare with ourselves with someone who is in worse condition….if they want to tell us the way to be satisfied then why they forget that one question can arise in our mind that why we r not comparing ourselves with someone who is in better condition…and that will make us more unsatisfied and unhappy.

I found only bad things of my schools and college because I compared them with some other institutes. I think this comparison thing can give us only dissatisfaction as a common man’s comportment is to compare himself with the better one not with the worse. He may feel some pity for them while comparing his life with worse ones but that is not satisfaction.

JOURNEY IN SATYAM

My fear (of getting site work) won at last and I was in Hyderabad with a lot of dreams on 1st July, 2008. 3rd July was the joining date of Satyam but they made it reporting date to save the salary of four days. The whole day we filled some forms and watched some tedious videos. Then on 5th we had a tough test. I couldn’t understand the purpose of that test at yet except keeping us disconsolate for some days as hardly anyone got more than 60% overall. Our actual joining date was 7th July and that day we had an induction program. The whole day, we listened some speeches, maximum of them were damn tedious and watched some videos. I liked Brig’s speech very much. Next day was again dedicated to these speeches and videos and we were separated into two groups. Some were in Microsoft (development team) and others were in QEdge (testing team). I was in QEdge team, I don’t know it was my good luck or bad luck as maximum of us (in both team) are still waiting for work and not happy with Satyam.

9th July was the starting date of our first phase training, which was really very stressful. During 1st phase, we had a hectic official schedule of 9 am to 6.30 pm (unofficially it was 9 to 9 or sometimes till 12 at night) with a lots of OLAs and case studies. The scariest stuff was OLAs (online assessments) during the training as most of us got LOC (letter of caution) which was awarded for less than 65% marks in any assessment. In the first OLA 30 out of 38 got less then 70% (passing marks) which was the main reason behind making OLAs scary, also there was some problem in assessment tool too. The one more reason to dislike OLAs was…. they ruined many of our Sundays. Second phase was little bit relaxed with less assessments and contented timings (schedule). Overall training was full of motivating speeches, with very common statements like

> You are very lucky to get such type of training…..
> Your batch is special batch as you are from PPP colleges (meaning of PPP is a mystery for us at yet)….
> QEdge is not bad at all (or don’t think Microsoft is better than QEdge)…
> You all will get project soon after a successful training, there will be no bench period for you……bla bla bla………….

Also there were some speeches from our senior leaders stating “you have to work hard….if you will not get more than 70%, you will be fired…………minimum 2% of you will be out from here for sure“. I don’t know whether these speeches were to encourage us or to douse us.


One more interesting thing about training was that we did not know when the training will be finished...even our RM did not know that. Firstly it was scheduled up to September end, and then it was extended to 13th October.

After the successful training, we all reported to “My Home Hub” building. It was really hard to find our reporting place first day due to improper communication between RMs. After roaming around here and there for two hours, we found the proper place. We were expecting projects, but we did not get even bench as there was no system allocated to us. Then the worst thing of professional life happened with us… there was a great struggle for chairs to sit. Somehow we managed with the limited chairs (almost half in numbers than our batch strength) with mutual understanding. The dark room helped us a lot as we could sit on floor without being noticed and pass our time by playing DumbC. After 10-15 days, some guys were allocated to different locations and chair-struggle ended but one struggle was there always, till we all allocated to somewhere, how to pass the time. On 7th Jan, the day of Satyam’s fall, I was allocated in Cisco, but till now, I am waiting for some work (except 2-3 days, I did not have any work here).

Now it’s really hard to keep the tears inside when I look back at my decision of choosing Satyam at the cost of Reliance Energy. Some questions arise in front of me again and again….whether your decision was right….whether you preferred a better professional life….you are worried about your carrier like a jobless person……are u really living a professional life. Sometimes these questions laugh at me but I can not do anything except crying. I never expected that one wrong decision will change my life so much and to this extent….. :-(
I think, that decision was……….…THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE

last long holidays

It was 18th May, 2008. I was at home for enjoying last long holidays. These holidays were something special for me as, I knew that I will not be at home for such a long period in future unless I lose my job. First one month passed smoothly. Suddenly I got a call from Satyam with an announcement of joining date as 3rd July. I used “Suddenly” because I was not expecting that as market condition was not too good that time. I was perturbed with some thoughts like…how will be my professional life…whether I will get such good friends (like college friends) there…and the most important…what should I choose as my future company as I was having two options….

Satyam, a software giant, package 3.5 lakh per annum…1st company which showed faith in me…which gave me a lot of confidence…but...2 lakh bond of two years (means if I want to leave company before 2 years, I have to pay 2 lakh rupees)…. also there will be no use of my four years of engineering…. OR

Reliance Energy… new in market but impressive growth…a huge package of 4.5 lakh (in hand package) and 5.5 lakh after one year of training….also I will use my four years of engineering there…but I can get field work which is really tough to handle….specially for me…:P


It was 25th June. I was in market for shopping and I got a call again but this time Reliance Energy was on the other side stating “Your medical is clear…..Welcome to Reliance Group.”
I was in great dilemma….What to do… it was the last day to make a final decision (tatkal quota was starting next day to book a ticket for hyderabad to join satyam).…..almost everyone wanted me to join Reliance Energy...my four years of engineering was in favour of reliance ....also the huge package was pushing me towards Reliance …but the fear of getting site work was fighting against them with its full strength and my ethics was fully supporting that fear…ethics towards Satyam…a company which gave me a lot of confidence during my tough time.
That day, I went to bed much earlier than other days, but these thoughts were against my sleep. I don’t remember when I slept. Next day, at 7 am, I woke up with my mom’s statement ..”beta, reservation karana hai to uth ja” (leave the bed if u want to reserve the seat in train) ………..and
“AT 8 AM, I WAS AT THE RESERVATION WINDOW TO BOOK THE TICKET FOR HYDERABAD”

LAST YEAR IN COLLEGE………….

It was 22nd July 2007, one day before the starting of last year (7th semester), as usual a xeric sunny day. I was in my room, preparing for another interview (this time company was L&T) and waiting for power so that the fan can at least lessen the effect of the too hot weather. (Electricity was the most frustrating stuff in my college life, I don’t remember any day with even 16 hours power facility, sometimes power cut was for continuous 2-3 days.) Suddenly some of my friends came in my room, lifted me, and told me about my placement in Satyam after giving a lot of bumps. I did not believe that till I got confirmation from HR, as my interview was not too good. Even during the interview, HR told me “Work on your English”. I lost my hope at that moment as fluency in English is most important in software field. I don’t know why I got placed, whatever, It was the happiest day of my life. I was too much frustrated before that as I was trying my luck in 7th company also my success graph was downward. In first company, I was out in last step of placement procedure, then in second last step in second company,……,and in IBM in written itself(1st step). So this placement gave too much relax to me. I did not give interview of L&T and went home for 1 month. That was great visit as I was at home after one and half year and with one job offer. I missed lots of companies during that period. Then Reliance Energy came in college for placement with a huge package. Almost every one was having at least one placement till then and those, who were not having, were not eligible for the company, so I decided to try my luck again. Written was too tough, so almost all the answers were wild guess, but by luck, I secured good marks in written. Group discussion round was so-so type. After that my interview was at 1 am. Believe me, that was the worst interview of my life. I couldn’t answer properly for even one question. But again unexpected result came out at 3.15 am and now I was having two offers. Perhaps my CGPA worked there. There was no limit of my ecstasy. That day ….. Sorry ….that night, there was a long alcoholic party, and I had first peg of my life. That was almost end of 7th semester. Last semester (8th) was too relaxed with No classes, Some protests from juniors for electricity, water and security in college campus and Lot of parties. And then finally it was 16th May 2008, when I left my college with lots of memories in my mind. I don’t know whether I was happy or sad. There was an ecstasy of leaving the student life which doesn’t have proper food and home’s love in its account, an ecstasy of leaving the college which doesn’t have proper facility of water, electricity and security of student, and perhaps an ecstasy of getting new life with lots of money. But there was an anguish of leaving friends, with whom I spent four years of college life, who were with me in every difficulty and in every joy, with whom college was the another family and another home for me…anguish of leaving lots of junior cum friends… and perhaps an anguish of losing those MASTI days of college life…………
AND I THINK THAT THE PAIN WAS DANCING OVER THE ECSTASY THAT DAY …………………….